Mom.....

Im feeling really anxious right now so Im using my blog as a way to get my feelings out hoping it will calm me down a little bit. I found out this weekend that my mom has some blocked arteries in her heart. That she has heart disease is a shock in and of itself. That she may be having a bypass surgery tomorrow was enough to floor me. As some of you may know, my dad had a heart attack at age 47 followed by triple bypass that same week. He has heart disease and was told he would have another bypass in 10 years time. Thankfully it has been nearly 20 but there have been symptoms so I was expecting to hear this news about him, not my mom. She is very nervous about tomorrow....which makes it worse for me. I feel like she is going to be just fine so I am trying to focus on that feeling and not the others. What is so scary about it is that it means that I am hit from both sides with the "heart disease" risk. To top it off, I have been seriously overweight for nearly 10 years now. That isnt helping my cause. Im feeling very vulnerable for so many reasons...... I'm just trying to breathe and I am hoping my mom is doing the same.

Love you mom.