Happenings....

Sorry for the lack of pictures on this post. This is more of an informational post :)

A few months ago, I was told by my doctor that I would have to have a partial hysterectomy due to the fact that my uterus was prolapsing....falling out. Also prolapsing was my bladder -- so that's why I couldn't laugh or cough without peeing -- At first, when he told me this, I was fine. No big deal right? No more birth control, no more monthly cycles....and I get to keep the ovaries so NO HORMONES! Win win. Oddly enough, a few weeks later, I went through this weird, albeit short, mourning moment. Like "wow...I really cant have anymore babies" (as if I actually wanted more...NOT). I felt like I was going to be less of a woman or something. It was weird and thankfully short lived and replaced by extreme anxiety over the surgery itself.

A few weeks before the surgery, I went to see my endocrinologist to get my annual thyroid tests done. I had been feeling extremely tired every day in the afternoon to the point where just the thought of getting off the couch made me want to cry. I was even nervous driving....falling asleep at stop lights is never a good sign. The results of the tests were inconclusive really but she decided to put me on thyroid medication anyway....a small dose...just to see if it would help. So far, I think it is helping. That afternoon fatigue seems to have gone away significantly.

Unfortunately one of the tests that measures blood protein and is a good indicator of future heart trouble came back super high. She was concerned enough that she put me on Lipitor to help bring the number down. What that test did for me though was send me into a tailspin of anxiety over the upcoming surgery. Considering my family heart history, this was not good news. Also one of the nodules that I have growing on my thyroid grew large enough over the past year that they want to do a biopsy on it. Talk about everything hitting me at once. Welcome to the 40's I guess....

To make this long health saga short(er), the week before my surgery was spent doing more tests and more tests to make sure my heart was OK. Turns out it is just fine. No signs of anything that would cause problems. I did reschedule the thyroid biopsy however, because I simply had no time to get it done and it was lower on the priority list at the time.

August 3rd came and I had the hysterectomy and bladder repair. (picture of my liquid meal after surgery...haha) Surgery went great and I spent a night and day in the hospital. I've been home for 4 days now and am doing well...still a little sore of course but on the mend! The kids have been great to wait on me and help me out around the house. (secretly I think they are really ready to have their old mom back though)

School starts in a few weeks and I think we are all ready for it! It has been a nice summer but due to me being in school we haven't been able to do much and the kids are kinda going stir crazy. It will be nice to be back on a schedule. I only have 3 semesters left until I graduate! Its feeling so close now....I can hardly wait!

Steamboat Springs, Colorado...

Every year I have my girlfriend reunion with Kris and Kellie, 2 girls that I met during my time in the Air Force. We go somewhere different each year and this trip was spent in Steamboat Springs, Colorado. The Rocky Mountains are beautiful and the weather was amazing for the entire 4 day trip. I had a blast as usual....cant wait for the next trip!!

We hopped on the lift to ride up the mountain and then ride back down on the Alpine Slide. What a blast! I haven't ridden one of those since I was 18 years old :)

Downtown Steamboat...check out the beautiful background! We were going to fish while we were there but the water is so high and fast from all of the snow runoff this year that it wouldn't have been a great idea....

Lunch at a Mexican restaurant downtown...on the patio. Awesome food :)

This isn't the best picture but it is the only one taken with all 3 of us in it. We found a great steakhouse one night for dinner. It was a "grill your own meat" place...I was resistant at first to pay $30 for a steak only to have to cook it myself...but afterward (and thanks to Kris cooking mine) I was all over it. Excellent food!!

Hard Work Pays Off....

Im finally getting organized, I think. Ive begun the arduous process of turning this blog in a book...several actually. Ive decided to make one per year. That way I can do one each time I have a little extra money. I'm just about done with 2007 which is the first year in which I started blogging. Its going to be fun to see the finished product although the details are stressing me out...it's not like you can return it if you dont like the way it turns out! Also, I have been working on creating myself an "office space" for lack of a better term. Truly, it is a school space right now...a new desk big enough for the computer and space to do homework. Shelves for stacking books, etc. Then I hung a big white board for writing down important things as well as some cork squares...eventually I will hang a picture frame above the computer with the 3 kids pictures in it.

I love my new space. It makes doing homework so much easier and I feel organized... finally.

I also got a new computer through my school. It is an iMac...

Ive been resistant to the whole Apple revolution but after seeing it in action, I was convinced it was the computer for me. So far, I really like it....A lot. The best part? NO WIRES OR CORDS!!! Seriously...what you see in that picture above is the WHOLE computer. The actual computer is inside the screen itself so there is no extra box/tower on the floor. You literally plug it into the wall with one solitary power cord. The mouse is wireless, the keyboard is wireless and because I have a wireless router in my apartment, there isnt even a cord to hook up the internet. It is a beautiful thing to look under my desk and not see a big tangled mess of cords! Its all very exciting to me, if you can't tell.

I painted a couple of walls in the front room. Green. Its a new color for me but Im really liking it right now. It feels so much more comfy in this little apartment. I figure since I am going to be in this place at least another year, I may as well make it pretty :) I ordered some new pictures of the kids from when we had those studio pictures taken a few months ago. I got one on canvas and I am really excited to hang those.

I was also really excited to get an email yesterday informing me that I made the Dean's List at the University of Utah! I was pretty happy about it considering how hard I work to keep my grades up at school. Sure, I could work less and still get B's and C's but I would always know deep down that I was capable of getting A's and it would eat at me if I didnt at least do the most that I could to accomplish that. So, all my hard work is paying off and that is good to know!

Happy Veterans Day!

It's weird but I never really thought at some point in my life I would ever reflect on Veterans Day with as much pride as I do now. I wasn't in the Air Force for any real length of time...6 years is all. But, they still call me a Veteran and I almost feel guilty claiming that title. I joined the Air Force for selfish reasons really. Not with the idea that I would be proudly serving my country, but as a means to end. I wanted to get my student loans paid off and then finish school while I was serving. Perhaps even get a job with the FBI when I got out. I never realized that I would ever get to the point where I could truly feel pride when I told someone I had been in the Air Force. I didn't understand that concept at all. Now here I am, some 15 years later and I'm lucky if I can get through the Pledge of Allegiance or the National Anthem without bawling. I learned a lot while I was selfishly serving, but I think the most important lessons that I took from the experience were these:

1. I came to know exactly what Patriotism means and why it is so important to pass on to my children.
2. I became associated with true Patriots and Veterans who chose to selflessly serve our country for the right reasons and loved/love doing it. I think of these people often, especially during this time of war and wonder where they are; but I know exactly what they are doing and I feel much love and gratitude for these soldiers/airmen/seamen/marines.
3. I learned a lot of lessons in patience, strength; both emotional and physical, perseverance, and even more lessons in self awareness.
4. I learned that despite its flaws, we live in a pretty great country.... and I understand fully what it means to be "Proud to be an American".

So, on this Veterans Day I guess I not only want to send out a cyber 'Thank You' to those who have served and continue to serve but I wanted to also express thanks for my experience in those 6 short years and say that even though I didn't physically fight or even sacrifice much, I am very proud of what I did give and even more proud to tell those stories to my children. I love that they are proud to tell their friends that their Mom was in the Air Force (even though they are really just excited to tell them that I shot guns...Hoo-Rah!)

We Also Sing....

Every year I participate in a choir called We Also Sing. It is made up of over 300 women and the director is Merrilee Webb, who happens to be my Junior High School Choir teacher. I just Love to sing. I dont know if I am any good but I sure dont care....I love doing it. I look forward to this experience each year and cant imagine not participating. After 10 weeks of practices (only once a week) we put on a concert. Normally it is held in the old Tabernacle on Temple Square but this year, it was held in the Marriott Center on BYU's campus. It was a whole new experience.... I really learned to love the pieces we sang this year even though at first I was a little hesitant of how they would turn out. My mom is in town and so she, my aunt Debra and my two boys came to listen and support me. These are my crazy boys after the concert.

Funny story....my mom says that during the concert there were some obnoxious 18 year olds talking and laughing and kicking the seats. I guess it got pretty bad . After a few minutes of it, Ian, my oldest, got up.. walked over to them and said "excuse me, but if you guys don't knock it off I am going to get security to throw you out..." Gotta love Ian....he takes after his mommy.....

The concert was bittersweet this year as normally my Grandmother would have also attended. She hadn't missed a concert yet. I was at a rehearsal the night that she passed away.... I remember we were singing the song "Omnia Sol" and I was thinking about her because it is a song about passing on and I knew she would be leaving us soon...my mom called during the song to tell me she had passed. I had a difficult time getting through it last night....but I know she was there with us in spirit.

One of the great things about the choir are the wonderful women I have met. Two in particular have become dear to me. This is Julie and Kim.


We sit together each Sunday during rehearsal and they really make me smile. I will miss seeing their happy faces each week and cant wait until next year when we get to do it all over again!!

3rd Annual Girls Trip......

Each year me and a couple of my good friends from when I was in the Air Force get together somewhere for a girls trip. This year we were going to go to Mexico. Unfortunately the friend that was going to be driving us across the border totaled her car (not her fault) and could not drive a rental vehicle over the border so we changed our trip last minute to Palm Springs, California. It was probably for the best since there is so much trouble going on at the border..... Anyway, I flew into Los Angeles and waited for Kellie who was flying in from Denver, Colorado. Kris was then going to pick us both up. Sadly, when I got to baggage claim I quickly realized that my bag was no where to be found. The only bag left on the carousel looked just like mine though so I thought perhaps someone had taken mine by mistake and crossed my fingers that they would return it. I waited for the next flight from Salt Lake to come in just in case my bag got put on that plane but still no luck. Eventually a little old lady called and she had taken my bag instead of hers. She lives in Pasadena (insert song: Little old lady from Pasadenaaaaa) and so we opted to drive her bag to her and pick mine up. Southwest airlines gave me a $75 voucher for my trouble....this came in handy a few days later. I was supposed to fly standby home on Jet Blue through a friend of mine that works for the airline. I thought it was a great idea and would save me money. Unfortunately there were only 2 flights going to Salt Lake and if I didnt happen to get on the p.m. flight I would have had to spend the night in the airport! The standby list was already 38 people long and there were only 9 empty seats on that flight. I quickly looked up flights on Southwest and with my voucher that they had given me I only had to pay $20 for my flight home and it was guaranteed! I think that lady took my bags for a reason...someone was watching out for me!~

So we drove to Palm Springs and checked into our fabulous digs....2 bedrooms, full kitchen, balcony with a grill. We grocery shopped and cooked most of our food, laid by the pool in the very HOT sun (my favorite part). We even tried to go dancing one night but apparently flip flops are inappropriate footwear for the "fancy" club in the local casino....hmpf!! That's Ok...we had plenty of our own dancing in our condo. It was such a fun time and Im already looking forward to our next trip :)

Mothers Day 2010....

I'm sitting here trying to think of something deep to say about Mother's. It shouldnt be difficult considering how sacred the calling of Motherhood is....I myself having a wonderful Mom of my own and being a good mom (hopefully) to my own children, I ought to have something profound to say. The only thing I keep thinking about is GRATITUDE.

• Gratitude for a childhood free from abuse and full of LOVE.
• Gratitude for healthy, beautiful, sweet, funny little people that I was given the privilege of raising.
• Gratitude for women around me who set examples daily and cause me to try harder to be a better person.
• Gratitude for the opportunity to be a Mother as challenging as it can be sometimes.

I guess I just feel thankful that I get to celebrate Mothers Day at all. I know there are many women out there that want to be moms and for whatever reason haven't been able to. And there are many children out there who aren't treated the way they should be by the moms they have. That is probably the most disheartening thing to hear....knowing that there are good women out there who deserve to be mom's and cant. Anyway, there are definitely days, on occasion, when I would like to "check out" so to speak from the daily grind of being a mom. There truly is no personal space, no silence, few adult conversations and forget being able to just leave the house whenever you feel like it on your own time frame. But, one thing I like to do late at night when everyone is sleeping is browsing total strangers' blogs...I find it fascinating to read about life from someone elses perspective and quite often lately I have run across blogs with stories of heartache and loss. Loss of a child. Unimaginable pain. So today, I would just like to say that I am GRATEFUL for the noise, the chaos, that lack of personal space and my sad social life that exists only on Facebook because Im pretty sure that the parents who have lost children would give anything to have all of that back in their lives. To those that have had this experience, I am so sorry and I vow to appreciate more the craziness that Motherhood is. I will try to be more patient and loving and realize that even when they are driving me crazy and I feel like screaming they are my world and they rely on me and love me unconditionally and more importantly I LOVE them with every fiber of my being.

Today in church my kids made me Mothers Day cards and one of the statements they were asked to finish was.....'I Feel Special When I am With You Because..... '

Ian said....You Love Me
Evan said....I Am Safe
Addison said....You Kiss Me

Love Them, Kiss Them, and Make Them Feel Safe. The 3 most important things a Mother can do.... I hope this means I am succeeding.

And to my Mom....you definitely succeeded. Thank You for everything. I LOVE YOU!

Happy Mothers Day everyone....

A Weighty Discussion....

*Warning* the following entry is not full of warm fuzzies or cute pictures of the kids. Its a reality check for me and although I do care about myself, Im not going to mince words here and I might even sound a little self loathing. Dont worry....I am doing just fine....but I am severly overweight and I am sick of it so I am going to be honest.I dont like my body. I dont like the way it looks or feels. I dont like looking in the mirror. There was a time when I loved my whole self....( see pic to the left) ...but it sure as heck isnt right now! Thats not to say that I lay in bed crying or dont want to go on living or anything that dramatic. But, I dont like going places because I have nothing to wear. I dont like shopping for things to wear because nothing fits me and I dont like the clothes that do. It's embarrassing. I feel shame when I go out to eat. Here is a huge reality check for you....that I am mortified to even share here.... We went to the movies recently and I left the theater to get popcorn. I passed a couple of girls on my way back with the popcorn (in their late 20's, not teenagers) and as I did they made pig noises at me. I thought I would die...and then I almost slapped them but was able to control myself :) How do you think that would feel?
I know that there are people out there that are OK with being fat. I am not one of those people. At all. And for those out there that say 'I should love myself no matter what'.....or 'I am such a pretty girl even with extra weight'....or that 'weight shouldnt define you'.... I want to say 'Thank You' ...really, thank you for being nice even though I know that when Im not around you are saying "wow, she has put on weight".... Its a natural reaction. Its a human reaction. Unfortunately as a society, we like skinny. Facts are facts. Ive been brought up in this society and I like skinny too. Not deathly skinny or movie star skinny. Healthy skinny. Im not asking to weigh what I did in high school. Heck, Ive birthed 3 children....Im not delirious. I have a weight in mind that by medical standards is still overweight. Oh well. I think it would look really good on me and I think about it everyday!
So, Im a realist, I always have been and the reality is - I AM FAT AND I HATE IT. There I said it....and Im not apologizing for it anymore. I dont think there is anything wrong or unhealthy about me wanting to lose weight or wishing I was thinner. What is wrong with wanting to go shopping in the 'normal sized' stores? I promise I dont HATE myself....just my weight. Unfortunately, along with the weight comes sadness, fatigue, no desire to do anything fun....you get the picture. How is that healthy?
Ok, Im done venting....so what am I going to do about it? I'll tell you....Im going to try again. If you know me at all then you know that I truly have given it a pretty good effort in the past. Lucky me, I was born with a metabolism that takes an act of God to get moving again. Last year I trained for and ran a Half Marathon. (yes that is me...huffing and puffing along!)

That is 13 miles people! I only lost about 14 pounds in the beginning....then, nothing. Now before you go thinking that 14 pounds is a lot of weight, consider the fact that to get to my realistic goal weight ( which is still considered to be heavy) I need to lose about 80 pounds. Yeah, 14 pounds isnt even close. Since the race, I have managed to put all of that and then some back on. Its true that I am under a lot of stress....I get that...and being an emotional eater to the 'Nth' degree, all I have done since that race is eat, eat, eat. But NO MORE!

Here is my epiphany. I was just thinking about last November and although I still had a lot of weight to lose, I felt fantastic!! I had energy...I was eating right, exercising...and emotionally I was charged because I knew I was doing good things.

I want to feel that way again. So, if it takes me 2 years to lose 80 pounds that is OK because in the interim I know that I will feel so much better about myself if I am at least moving in the right direction.

If you're curious how I plan on doing this....I'll share it with you. A friend of mine is a personal trainer. In the beginning of the year she started a "Biggest Loser" competition with some pretty lucrative prizes. I joined wholeheartedly... ready to win the whole thing....and then my life sort of fell apart. Long story short, I dropped out. But, she is doing it again along with the nutritional guidance that the "Live The Life" program provides. It is a program that is easy to follow, has good food, and is balanced! My kind of "Diet"..... So, today I have spent about 3 hours preparing my meals for the week.

5 meals a day for 7 days. All cooked, assembled and packaged...sitting in my fridge. No thinking...no guessing....just grab and eat. I am excited because I know that half of my problem is the nutrition and never knowing what to eat or not having the time to fix it!! I'll probably post here now and then about my progress but you should know that I expect great things from myself. I expect to win it this time....and by that I dont necessarily mean the prize money.... I expect to win the war. Stay tuned :) ... and if you actually read this entire post, thank you for listening!

Hair Talk......

For those of you that have known me for some time, you know how important good hair is to me. It doesnt really matter what I am wearing or how much makeup I have on, as long as my hair looks good, I feel good. For years I was the one with "good hair" and people always asked me where I got my hair done. Well, in recent years I have found myself in a hair funk. It's as if I forgot how to do hair or what looks good....I cant seem to get it just right. So, I have tried different things.....and I always go back to the same. Long story short I think I finally highlighted my hair to death. Literally.... because after the last 2 highlighting jobs I have had done, my hair was literally like straw. I haven't been able to do anything with it for the past 2 months at least. It's just been awful and has made me feel awful in the process. Enter my friend Kim.

Kim has done my hair off and on for the past 7 years or so. I bounce around with hairdressers for no particular reason.....but everytime she has colored my hair it has turned out amazing! So, I called her for help. The verdict was scary. I was going to have to go darker for a while.

I have always been blonde but as I have aged and given birth to 3 children my hair has slowly but surely gone dark dark blonde, and I have refused to accept it. So anyway, I let her do her thing...and it is definitely darker but I am so happy with the results!

My hair already feels so much healthier although there is still some work to do. **this picture above makes its look lighter than it actually is....** This was just the first go around.... Knowing me I'll be light blonde again by Summer....and you can bet Kim will be the one coloring it. She really is fabulous!

Kim works at Bella Mia Salon in Midvale and this salon has everything your little heart could desire.

Nails, Hair, Massage, Pedi's, Waxing...even spray on tanning! Of course I had to bring Addison along with me (she has learn somehow right?) and the salon staff was so nice to her. I appreciated them keeping her company while I sat in the chair.

Kim was kind enough to give me a certificate for a free hair cut and color for anyone that is interested who reads my blog. So, if you live in the area (or not.... if you dont mind the drive) leave a comment on this post and let me know! First come, first serve.... you really wont regret it. And hello, who can turn down free hair service!!

Thanks Kim for your friendship and your help with my sad hair :)

My Cheering Section....

Tonight was my big choir performance on Temple Square. We got to do a Christmas program this year which was awesome. I loved every minute of it....here is my big fan base minus Grandma Lloyd and Aunt Debbie who had already left when I snapped the pic..... I sure appreciated the support everyone!


Afterward we strolled around the square and took in the lights amongst thousands of other people there to do the same thing....lots of people, did I mention that?

I really appreciate everybody's support during the past 11 weeks...especially Denver and the kids who put up with my 2-3 hours rehearsals every Sunday.

It will be nice to be home on Sunday nights but I am going to miss singing. Ive met some really great women during the past 2 years in the choir. It's sad to think it will be another whole year before I get to sing with them again!

A Week in Review......

Ive really been slacking on this blog lately! We are just busy busy and I dont seem to have the time that I used to for sitting at the computer. It may also have something to do with my poor time management skills, but that is a post for a different day. Anyway, this past week was pretty good.... The kids had Thursday and Friday off for UEA weekend. This meant no soccer game for Evan on Saturday but Ian still had a football game. It was a great game and they actually Won!
Its their first win of the season and it was so fun to watch these kids get so excited over it. Denver's brother made us some team wear which we proudly wore at the game..... Go Highland Rams!


I ran 8.5 miles on Sunday morning and am constantly amazed at how well my body has adapted to each long run that I finish. It was an interesting 2 hours considering that I ran through rain, hail, sleet and then finished the run in a torrential downpour. I had people stop and ask me if I wanted a ride but by that point I was soaked from head to toe and didnt see the point. Besides, I had to finish the mileage. It was actually fun.....next week I have to run 10 miles. There are only 5 more weeks until my race! Im getting really excited.

Here is a fun little picture that I took last week of my nephew Soren. This was after Addie had gotten into my makeup bag and decided that Soren would be her model.

She is such a girl and is obsessed at the moment with makeup, perfume, and jewelry. She has also discovered the Disney Princesses and watches the movies over and over and over. Jasmine from Aladdin is her favorite right now. Its times like this when I wish I could just freeze time and stop my kids from growing..... you can never have this time back once it is gone. There are days when they exhaust me but I just cannot imagine what I would do without them. Love love love my kids.

Where to Begin....

So, here is a quick run down of what has been happening at the Shannon household for the past week or two. WARNING....this is a long post!

The first bit of news would be that over Labor Day weekend my parents flew into town for a visit. We always love it when they come and it never seems like it is a long enough visit. They got here late Friday night and first thing Saturday morning they came to Ian's first official football game. Friday night Ian was sick.... throwing up, diarrhea sick. Denver felt like it was just nerves because he was a little bit anxious about this big game with Grandpa here to watch him. So, when he got up in the morning, he seemed OK and off we went to the game. Let's just say that he confirmed to everyone that he was really not feeling well at all and it was not nerves. The game was horrible and he hardly played at all. I felt really bad for him because he had wanted to play for Grandpa.....but he was relieved when it was over and after we got home, he layed down on his bed and fell fast asleep still in full uniform with pads!

My mom and I spent the afternoon at a movie. We saw Julie & Julia and it was OK...it was fun to go out with my mom though. I'd love to go on a trip somewhere, just to two of us....shopping and seeing movies and laying on the beach. One day soon.....

Sunday afternoon, Addie started complaining and crying about having a stomach ache. I was getting ready to go shopping with my mom for my birthday, which was that very day :) Suddenly Denver is screaming at me to come downstairs as Addison had barfed all over the place. We got her cleaned up and bathed and not 5 minutes later Denver is screaming again because now Evan was throwing up all over the place. Good Times!! Mom and I left to go shopping anyway and when we returned, it was obvious I had some really sick kiddos.

The next day I woke up sick....like I said, Good Times. It felt like I was pregnant again ***( dont worry, IM NOT PREGNANT!!!)*** but every smell made me Gag. We were having Labor Day dinner at Nates that evening and we were in charge of the food. We made Kalua Pork (which is amazing by the way) and the smell of that liquid smoke on the pork was enough to do me in. I survived though without throwing up and enjoyed a nice dinner with my family. I love it when we can all be together. My parents left the next day to go back to Reno.

So, next on the list would be that Evan got placed on a soccer team finally (it was up in the air as he was on a waiting list) and it turned out that 8 of the 10 boys on this team are either in his current school class or were in his class last year. Needless to say he was ecstatic! His first game was yesterday and he did great! Looks as though Goalie might be his position....he blocked every ball the other team shot at him. It was awesome. Addie started Dance classes on Friday and she had an ear to ear perma-grin on her face all day. She loved it and Im so excited for this time in her life....she is becoming quite the girlie girl. I LOVE it! Ian had another game on Saturday and did so much better since he wasnt sick. In fact at practice this past week he actually enjoyed himself for the first time and couldnt wait for the game yesterday. Im so happy that he is finally gaining some confidence and having a good time.

School is going great for me although Im finding it difficult to get my homework done timely.... its hard to get used to remembering such a thing. Saturday night I attended my very first symphony. I had to critique it for my music appreciation class. It was the Utah Symphony playing Beethoven's 5th Symphony. My friend Linda came up from Provo and we went to dinner first and then the concert. It was really great....except for the horribly uncomfortable seats! I love this class and am excited to see more concerts throughout the semester including the opera, Macbeth.

I think that about does for it for the main events.....we are just busy as can be right now between school, work, football, soccer, and dance! Fun times!! Here is a slideshow of some extra pictures....