Monday, May 12, 2008

Hind Sight.....

I have been reflecting a lot lately about the phrase "Hindsight is always 20/20". When Denver received his final grades the other day, he wondered aloud why he had such trouble getting good grades his first year in college at age 19. "Was it really that difficult?" he mused. I laughed of course because #1. No it wasnt and #2. It wouldnt have mattered anyway....easy or not, Denver was bound to fail because he wasnt there for the right reasons. Either way, I started thinking about my own college experience and how it tops my small list of regrets....not finishing college that is. I have always thought that regretting your past is not healthy. Granted, there are a few things that I wish I could do differently. Choices that I made foolishly. However, most of what a person does in his/her life is called "life experience". Without it, there would be no personal growth. My past is a part of me, it is what has helped to mold me into who I am now, it is what makes me different from the rest. I have very few regrets. And I am pretty certain that I still have a lot more to learn. More mistakes to make. I wish that "kids" today could have the 'foresight' to really understand how important their youth is. I can remember thinking I had all the time in the world to live my life. Play now, work later. Denver of course wishes he had not wasted his college opportunities back then when he was younger, healthier, had less responsibilites, more time, more money......you get the picture. How do you impress that upon your children.... to seize opportunities before they slip away? Of course, if my children are anything like me, they wont really listen anyway. They already know everything....Im pretty certain that my parents mentioned it at least once or twice that I shouldnt let college slip too far behind. You start wondering where you would be right now had you done the smart thing and buckled down....could'a, would'a, shoud'a. This illustrates both the beauty and the danger in focusing on hindsight. Yes it is a valuable tool in evaluating mistakes so as not to make them again. But, it can be destructive too because most of the time you cannot change what has happened....choices are made, consequences are lived through and then you have to move on. Beating yourself up over choices made that you cannot change is unproductive and serves only as a reminder of your failures. I guess you have to find a balance in reflecting on the past in order to make the future better. This is the lesson I hope to impart on my kids. Use your mistakes to learn and grow but dont focus on the fact that you made mistakes because this will only hold you back. Everyone makes mistakes. It is part of the great "plan"..... In the end it is how we have learned from them that matters the most.


On another note, I do not like Tulips. But look at these little beauties that have bloomed in our garden. I really like this breed of Tulip. Cute, petite, and I love the dual colors! Happy Spring!

2 comments:

Alisha said...

You are a great writer! You'll have to let your kids read this post in about 10 years...just about the time they know it all! I know we have all made mistakes, but I think it is easier to make the mistakes yourself than to watch others like our kids, friends and other family members go down the wrong road. I know I definitely didn't realize how much the decisions I made at 18, 19 and 20 would affect me life. Kudos to Denver for going back to school. I know it has got to be tough, but I know he will not regret it!

Melanie said...

Amen to the entire post. I wish I could use the perspective I have now to go back and redo a few years of my life.