Ramblings......

I was looking at my blog archive list and realizing that January 2009 must have been a bad month for me. I only wrote 8 posts last month...compared to 18 the January before. Wow. I think I am slowly coming out of my funk...maybe. I just got what felt like gallons of my blood drawn on Monday....Im sure everything will come back great, except for maybe my triglicerides...so there will be no explanation for my depressed moods or my total lack of energy and motivation. Nothing to explain the fact that I can suddenly take 2 hour naps in the middle of the day for the first time in a lot of years or how I want to shove everything I see into my mouth, and quite frankly go ahead and actually do it. Another physical to tell me I am healthy when I shouldnt be, because I weigh too much and Im nearly 40. I feel it in every joint, every morning. Pointless probably to even bother witht the physical,but then, you never know right? Its good to stay on top of your health no matter if it feels like a waste of $10 to have them tell you everything is fine.

On to something else. This economy. I know, its the most talked about thing in recent days. Maybe thats because its affecting everyone....except Bill Gates and Brangelina. I was told Wednesday night that Wells Fargo has made a "business decision" to eliminate a few positions from my department. They have already informed one of those people but are still "evaluating" the others. I have to hope that I am safe due to the fact that I only work 15 hours a week and dont receive any benefits. Surely letting me go is not going to affect their bottom line in the least...so maybe I can keep my sad little job that I really happen to enjoy despite the crappy hours. Then, of course we are also on standby with Denvers job. Layoffs are to start at the end of the month. 4500 people originally has now changed to become 10,000 people company wide. Salt Lake is a small plant...hopefully it wont lose too many people.

We had SEP's with Ian's teacher last night (thats parent/teacher conferences)... Ian is still the best speller in the class and interestingly the best handwriter. Apparently, according to his teacher, gifted children are notoriously sloppy handwriters. 2nd grade has been hard for Ian. Im not sure why exactly but the poor kid compares himself to his classmates to the point of total meltdown frustration. It has taken its toll....I think he is an emotional eater and I have noticed it a lot lately. We are working on helping him recognize his own talents and thankfully his teacher was good to point them out to him last night. It always helps to know you are the best at something, right? Just yesterday Evan said he had a bad day at school because some big kid told him he wasnt fast. Crocodile tears and all. I asked Evan if he thought he ran fast? He said "yes", to which I replied "then who cares what the big kid says as long as you know you run fast?" To which Evan rolled his eyes at me. It makes sense to an adult...this kind of reasoning. But to a 6 year old, impressing the big kid is all that matters. I have nightmares about my childrens feelings getting hurt. I wish I could shelter them from it. I wish that they would feel and know that they are the coolest kids on the playground. I hate that they have insecurities. I know its normal but I still hate it.

This year is my (and Denvers) 20th high school reunion. I have been nervous about it because I dont want to show up and be the "fat kid"...one thing that has brought some comfort is being on Facebook. What a crazy couple of months it has been on there. If you havent checked it out, you need to but with a warning....it is Highly addictive. I have reconnected with so many people from my past...people that I never thought I would see again, let alone talk to. I signed Denver up in spite of his objections...he said "I will never use that"...and guess what? He is on it everyday and probably has more friends on there than I do. Interestingly enough, they are almost all women. Anyway, seeing other people from my high school and realizing that they too have aged and gained weight has made me feel more confident about showing up....whenever they decide to have it. Denvers reunion is going to be in July...looks we will be making a trip to Kentucky.

Well, not much left to ramble on about. The boys are at school and I am getting ready to go work out with my trainer. He kills me but it feels great when I am done. Im still waiting for it to actually work. I guess it would help if I hadnt eaten that apple fritter this morning....